Rewind...

It's been two months since my last post and today's post was the Eulogy I wrote for my grandma's funeral.  I am in a place of peace.  I owe it to the fact that I have no regrets.  I spent the time with her.  I listened to her. Along with my family, we all helped care for her when she got ill.  Speaking only for myself, I am happy because I know she is happy . . . my tears will come when i miss her.  I still catch myself wanting to ask "where's grandma?"  "how is grandma?"  Visiting her home and expecting to still see her is the hardest truth to swallow when I know she isn't coming home.  Time will heal all of these feelings.  She was my constant, she was my daily routine, and it will take time for that to change and for my life to be distracting enough for me to not miss her absence.  My heart still pains and my mind hasn't caught up with reality.  When it does, won't be soon enough.  

I miss her. 

My grandmas services were beautiful! It was amazing to see the church fill up Monday night for her rosary and Tuesday morning for her mass. She was very loved. Thank you all for the support and prayers, especially our friends and family who traveled to share this time with us. We are so blessed to have you in our lives! Tomorrow is a new day and tonight I can rest knowing I've gained one more angel in heaven to protect and guide me. Te amo, mi reina!

“Ni Siquiera la distancia cambiara los momentos compartidos a tu lado. Sencillamente eres irremplazable”

Romans 14:8 For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.

It feels like just yesterday I was standing here in this church and at this podium, sharing a letter I wrote to my Papa Marcos.  I was fortunate enough to have been raised in the same household as my grandparents and blessed to have them as Godparents as well.  I was fortunate enough to have been able to spend so much time at her side and to share many moments together.  Her wisdom and experiences are something I will carry with me always.  Her love is something I will have with me every day and she will be truly missed.

I am proud to say that the Cardenas Family is a beautiful example of Unity, love and respect and it is because of our grandparents.  Mama Mago was the Queen of our family.  She was a strong woman who raised five boys and two girls to be amazing people who have always shown each other nothing but love and have instilled those same values in us, their children.  I know my cousins will agree with me when I say we are so lucky to be a part of such an amazing family.  Mama Mago held us together and taught us about unity, love and respect and we are all better people because of her.

I carry a lot of her in me; her name, her selflessness, generosity, her courage and my poor husband can attest that I am as stubborn as they come, a beautiful trait I know she shared as well……but The greatest gift Mama Mago gave me was my faith.  My love for God and relationship with HIM was strengthened through her prayers and her involvement in the church.  She taught me so much about prayer and how beautiful a relationship with God could be.  Last year, my husband’s family experienced a difficult time due to an illness to a family member and Mama Mago gave me the strength I needed to be able to support my husband and through prayer and Faith we overcame it all.  Mama Mago was a big part of reminding me to keep my faith in God, she was my rock. 

This same faith she instilled in me, is what has brought so much peace to me in these past few days.  I trust with all my heart that she is so happy right now.  She has been reunited with her son, Jerry, her husband, Marcos and so many of our family members who are celebrating that they are together in a place we all wish to be one day.  Yes, there will be tears when we think of her; Yes, we will feel that pain of her absence in the holidays to come, but we must find that peace in knowing that she isn’t experiencing any discomfort in Heaven.  I say a prayer now for each and every one of us to find that peace and begin the healing process.  Very soon those tears will become smiles, when we think of her and instead of missing her during the holidays we will all gather and share memories of her with joy and laughter.  I pray, we honor her and continue to live our lives with unity, love and respect. 

Today, on such a special day, we celebrate Mama Mago's Life

“Ni Siquiera la distancia cambiara los momentos compartidos a tu lado. Sencillamente eres irremplazable”

Romanos 14:8 Pues si vivimos, para el Señor vivimos, y si morimos, para el Señor morimos. Por tanto, ya sea que vivamos o que muramos, del Señor somos.

Parece que fue ayer cuando estuve en ésta Iglesia frente a éste podio, compartiendo unas palabras que le escribí a mi Papá Marcos. Tuve la fortuna de haber sido criada en la casa de mis abuelitos y bendecida de haber sido su nieta. Me siento afortunada de haber podido pasar tanto tiempo a su lado y de compartir juntos momentos tan especiales. La sabiduría de Mamá Mago y sus experiencias son algo que llevaré dentro de mí por siempre. Como extrañaré su infinito amor y su presencia.

Estoy orgullosa de decir que nuestra familia Cárdenas-Tamayo es un hermoso ejemplo de unidad, amor y respeto y todo se lo debemos a nuestros abuelitos. Mamá Mago fue y es la Reyna de nuestra familia. Una mujer fuerte que crió a cinco hombres y dos mujeres a ser personas de bien que se inspiran amor y que en su momento han inculcado lo mismo a nosotros, sus nietos. Ella fue la fuerza que nos mantiene unidos mostrando amor y respeto mutuo. Tratamos de ser buenas personas, gracias a ella. Estoy segura que mis primos estarán de acuerdo con esto.

En mí, ella se refleja; su nombre, su  generosidad, su humildad, su fuerza de coraje y testaruda (mi pobre esposo es testigo de ello), estos son hermosos atributos. Pero, el regalo más hermoso que me dio, es mi Fé. Mi relación con Dios se ha fortalecido a través de sus oraciones y su devoción a la Iglesia. Me enseñó acerca de la fuerza de la oración y de estar cerca de Dios. El año pasado, la familia de mi esposo pasó por tiempo muy difícil debido a una enfermedad grave de un miembro de la familia, mi Mamá Mago me dio la fuerza que necesitaba para poder apoyar a mi esposo con ayuda de oración y Fé. Me recordó que continuara creyendo en Dios. Ella es mi roca.

La misma Fé que ella me inspiró, es lo que me ha dado paz en estos días. Creo con todo mi corazón, que ella se encuentra feliz. Ella se ha reunido con su hijo Gerardo, su esposo Marcos y muchos miembros de su familia que se regocijan en verla de nuevo en un lugar especial en que todos nosotros deseamos algún llegar. Cierto, habrán lágrimas cuando pensemos en ella; cierto, nos dolerá su ausencia durante los días de fiesta que vendrán, pero encontraremos consuelo sabiendo que está en lugar hermoso, el Cielo. Mi oración es que encontremos la paz para empezar con el proceso de alivio y consuelo. Muy pronto, nuestras lágrimas se convertirán en sonrisas cuando pensemos en ella y durante nuestras reuniones, vamos a compartir todas esas memorias de su gozo y risas. Querida familia, continuemos viviendo con unidad, amor y respeto.

Hoy, un día tan especial, celebramos la VIDA de Mamá Mago.

  “Ni Siquiera la distancia cambiara los momentos compartidos a tu lado. Sencillamente eres irremplazable”

Life's blessings

The smallest little blessing can mean a lifelong change. This little girl is just that. She will forever change the life of my sister. From the moment we knew she was coming we all felt joy, but it was laced with the mixed emotion of fear. Just a small fear because our faith won't let us doubt for too long. I am thankful for the amazing God I have in my life. Thank you for staying at my sisters side because I know you were the one there with a hand on her shoulder and with your grace she brought this beautiful child into this world. A few scares along the way, but even though I didn't feel any of it, I know by looking at my sisters expression that Evanni is all worth it! Worth the pain, worth the tears and worth the 37 weeks of high risk pregnancy that she endured, because it was not easy. 

This little blessing is an angel. She is proving to be a diva, but one that will have us all wrapped around her finger. Welcome home Evanni! 

Happy birthday Evanni!

Born on 6.3.13 @ 8:46am. 

Almost 24 hours after your mama was induced you arrived. With about 15mins of painful pushing -you decided you weren't going to wait any longer and to everyone's surprise, even the doctor and nurses, you came quickly!! Weighing in at 6lbs 8oz and 19 inches long. 

Here you are with your grandma and great grandma! 

Just me and you! All bundled up! 

You look just like your daddy! 

24 hour photo, you can see the small changes already in just one day! 

Your newborn sized clothes fit you a little big, I went to go buy you preemie sizes and those fit you snug! Eat a little more baby girl! 

Tia loves you! 

6.2.13 @6pm

Mama is 1.5cm dilated, which means you are coming, but slowly. However, the contractions are getting stronger for her. 

We have a poll to see how long til you are here.. So far these are our guesses. 

It's now noon

Mom checked in at 9am. She has been having contractions... They are about 9mins apart now. I could hear you hiccuping inside your mama's tummy.It's such   an amazing thing. I'm excited because I get to stay and see you come into this world. Unless you come by c-section. 

You are having a ball inside mama's tummy. Moving around. Cleaning house I guess cause you will be leaving the home in your mama's tummy soon.  So pack your bags and leave it nice and tidy for your future sibling. 

Countdown begins

Will it be hours or days? We don't know. However long it takes for you to make a healthy entrance into this world we will be ready! We had a family breakfast this morning with your mama and daddy before they headed to the hospital. I went home after to wait for a call to let me know you were on your way, but guess what? I'm here. At the hospital. I just couldn't sit still at home. I don't know if they are nerves or excitement! Funny story. Your mom just called and I confessed to her that I was already here and she said she wasn't surprised because our mom, your grandma, had just walked in too!!! We must think alike. 

Here is our family . . . Minus your TiO Juan cause he was working. 

We will take a new one, once you are here. 

Side note: mom and dad just had a tiny discussion about where you will go to school. You'll be a REDCAT. Mom says! 

To be continued. Tia needs to charge her battery. 

Here's what mama's feet look like, little chubbies!!!