Mommy Diary: page 5

Woke up this morning with puffy eyes. I must have cried in my sleep. I don't remember if I dreamt about it or if it was real, but then your daddy rolled over and asked me if he should stay home from work to keep me company and at that moment I was reminded of the ugly truth. 

I am in a transition period... Waiting is the game. I want so badly to keep you. To let you make my body your home for the next few months, to hear your heart beat (I have yet to hear it) to feel you move and kick my ribs, dance on my bladder. 

My body seems to have other plans... So we wait. The next few days may determine if you get to stay and it breaks my heart to know I do not have a choice.