A letter I'll never send

You have no idea how difficult it is for me to hold my tongue sometimes. The motivation is that I know that God has a plan for you and that you will get to know Him one day and He will shed light on truth. Until then, I sit quietly and I pray for you that you will not be led too astray by your mother. She doesn’t like people and has a negative world view that will be passed onto you. One day, you will see Truth. But my prayer is that the lens of unconditional love will be removed and you will see your mother for what she is: A lost, broken, mentally unstable person who has parentified you and stolen your childhood as a result. I pray that God will restore to you your youth, your carefree days. I don’t hate your mother and I don’t want you to hate her. I want you to distance yourself from her manipulative, unhealthy and childish ways and establish yourself firmly in the goodness of Jesus Christ and have the self confidence of someone who has been taken care of her whole life, rather than the one who has taken care. I love you. I’m sorry when I use to tolerate you. I did that a lot and it is hard because I see so much of your mom in you it sadly appalled me. It is darkness and light. You are light and yet, there is this darkness in you, this cloud that hangs over you, this lack of caring about anyone else, that I cannot ignore. I hate it. I don’t hate you. I pray that you will give your life to jesus sooner than later and that he gives you supernatural wisdom and understanding. Your mother is not healthy. Love her, yes. Be respectful, yes, but i pray you do not emulate her. Do not carry on the legacy she is trying so desperately to hang on you. You were made for much more than your mother has shown you through her own life. Pray for your mother, that she too will know the forgiveness and peace that is only found in Jesus. Do not think of yourself as better than her. But do know, that God has called you to a purpose and you are perfectly made. You do not have to carry on your mother’s traits. Boldly refuse them. I pray God gives you clarity to see those traits from which you need to run. Light and darkness are not supposed to be able to be mutually present, but I see them both in you. Win the struggle, be light, as I know you were made to be.