July was a month of reflection for my husband and I. We made it through to the next trimester in this pregnancy.
We passed the dreadful week in which we lost our first Angel and it was bittersweet.
Week 11-12: That week alone, this time around, was a tough one. Neither of us said a word about it, just lived in the moment and presumably held our breath.
I forced myself to stay home, morning sickness had not subsided yet and frankly being mentally and physically exhausted was taking its toll. While I rested I didn't even dare use my at-home fetal doppler for the fear of not being able to find a heart beat/my mind would know it's cause it's too soon to catch it, but my heart would cry due to the unknown.
Week 12-13: this was the week we got to do the Dreadful scans. I wasn't at all nervous about the outcome of those scans. I just wanted to hear a heartbeat. Any other diagnosis wasn't a concern to us because the baby would be loved all the same no matter the outcome. I held my breath like I did at every scan before this and waited to see a flicker on the screen or the sound of the babies galloping heart beat. Because our baby proved to be stubborn this day, we got to spend 45 mins to an hour watching through the screen while the tech tried to get all her scans complete. It was AMAZING!
Week 14-16: a glimmer of excitement has entered our household- we spend our time together talking about our baby. What will she look like? Who will she act like? Will she have curly hair like mama? Tall like her daddy? Light complected with colored eyes like her Tia val? A crazy little personality like her cousin Trinity or Evanni? Maybe she will be nothing like any of us and just bring her own unique little flare to our family. You know what else crosses my mind...will she look anything like her sisters? Will I finally know what my other two angels look like?
Just about half way there and crossing week 24 is the next hurdle to get through. With the faith I am carrying I know we will make it past that week and to the finish line. 💙💜
This little girl has no idea how loved she already is. The weekly appointments, daily shots, sickness and all is a sacrifice that will be so worth it.
Daddy and mommy can't wait to meet her.
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