Rollercoasters

As a young girl, I loved roller coasters... The excitement of waiting in line... The few moments of fear right when I reached the top. Being next in line was the best, I could hear the screams of the previous riders. I always waited the extra 30mins to an hour just to be the rider in the front of the coaster. I loved that feeling in the pit of my stomach as I was strapped in and just waited for the coaster to take its first move. The ride would be over before I knew it and I would gladly make my way to the next line and wait for the excitement of another roller coaster. 

Here is the irony: my life is a roller coaster. I have fear, stress, anxiety, excitement, relief and happiness. Sometimes I feel like I get off one really long roller coaster, just to wait in line for the next. 

Waiting in line. That's where I am right now. My life the last few years can be summed up in a few words, job loss, homeless, cancer, caregiver, heartache, anxiety, Financial crisis, depression and very recently death. However, this death was peaceful, it opened up doors, my eyes and its bringing me opportunities. All because one person had faith in me. 

Now remember when I said I was waiting in line again. . . I am. Just about to board another coaster, but this time I won't be alone. I'm actually boarding this roller coaster as support. To hold his hand through his very own heartache and to be his rock as he deals with what's to come. I never have the words to say to him. Even with my experience and with my faith, I can't find the words to comfort him. I'm praying these words come fast because we are next to board....and that fear I feel right before I board a ride is coming and I know that feeling in the pit of my stomach won't be from excitement....this time.