Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Mommy diary: pg 23

I suffered my first miscarriage in jan 2014.
I am currently suffering through a second. 

I wasn't ready to be pregnant again.
I didn't know I was pregnant again.

My body reacted in such a familiar way it's scary how much the body can tell you. I knew exactly what was happening to me and all I needed was a confirmed pregnancy. I got that today. I am in fact pregnant, but miscarrying. 

How is it possible that it took us 3yrs to conceive our first baby and then lose her at 10wks and this time I got pregnant so fast, without even planning.

I am confused, in denial and hate hate hate that my body is doing this to me again. I wasn't ready to be pregnant and I sure as hell was not ready to miscarry for a second time in less than six mths. 

I'm not okay. 



I hope God knows what HE is doing with me and I am praying HE gives me the strength to accept what HE has planned for me and to get through everything up ahead.


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