I was sitting here trying to mentally prepare myself for Mother's Day next week. This Mother's Day will mean something different for me for two reasons.... I won't just be celebrating my mother, but also I'll have to be prepared to console her cause it is her first year without her mother. I have such an anxiety building up and I can't figure out how to relieve it. Reason two: I AM A MOTHER, but I do not expect to be seen as a mother or because I want to be celebrated as one. However, the fact is that I am a mother to an angel baby and my acknowledgement on this day would mean her acknowledgment as well. That she not only lives in my heart, but that others think of her too. However, I don't have a living child and this holiday will pass, until the next holiday arrives and I begin to think once more that we should be celebrating her first Halloween, thanksgiving, or Christmas!
So before these thoughts consumed me and my eyes swelled up with tears, I came across this on my fb wall and it warmed my heart. So of course I will be joining the movement to once again bring honor to ALL mothers. I am slowly finding peace in my reality and only GOD knows my true struggles, but every day is a new day. I sometimes fail horribly, but start anew as morning comes. So tomorrow, 5/4/2014 will be in honor of those mothers who carry their angel babies in their hearts until we can hold them in our arms again or in my case, hold Isabella Rae in mine for the first time.
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