You know I've had the past 24 hrs to gather my thoughts. I think I know why it's been so hard for me to actually grasp the reality of your loss.
I mean, I know, because I gave birth to you, I held you and I was there when we buried you. I know.
However, I should still be pregnant and if I know my mind as well as I think I do, I can guarantee my mind is holding onto the fact that technically I shouldn't have you in my arms yet. Sept 7th. That's the day. The day you should be in my arms.
When that day comes and when it goes, there still won't be a baby in my arms. Who knows where I'll be. Or if my mind is going to comprehend this tremendous loss then. My heart. It has suffered a heartache and it will always ache and that missing piece will stay empty forever. As for my mind, I can't guarantee the state it will be when it gets rocked with such a dreadful reality. I just hope GOD doesn't leave my side, because when that reality hits, I won't be able to stand it.
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