Mommy diary: page 11

It isn't because you aren't thought about every day, because you are.

Your dad and I still share conversations about who you would have looked like and if you'd have my hair. 

I call you by your name and I don't think I sound crazy. 

I feel comfortable talking about you with people, even though I know that I may be the only one that misses you. 

Your dad, he misses the thought of what you would have been..... I miss the presence of you growing inside me. The crazy changes you caused my body to go through in such a short time. 

So today, when a student placed her hand on my tummy and said how proud she was to know that I was having a baby and a second student joined in to say with excitement that she couldn't wait til you grew bigger in my tummy; I enjoyed that moment, because even though I probably should have corrected them, I couldn't bare to see the looks on their faces or the confusion or hurt that this loss of mine may have caused to them. I know that soon I'll have to find a way to explain that you are no longer in my tummy. 

So today you were thought about and instead of pain or hurt, I felt joy, even if it was for that moment, because these students, in all their innocence, celebrated the life you were and I am so proud that I was able to celebrate with them in that moment.

Mama loves you Isabella Rae.