When I show up "on time" to his work for pick up and he already has the door open for me, usually means he is working OT and I have to wait in the office, where it's always nice and cool and his manager is such a nice person, I don't mind it all.
Except for today.
I walk in, put my things down and I hear something - I can't say it's a familiar sound because "am I really hearing baby coos in his office?"
I walk out into the hallway and in his managers office is a small baby, tiny little thing. I rush by and head for the bathroom, where I try to collect myself. I'm fine. I'm okay. Just walk back to the main office where you always wait and make small talk, a quick hello, so I'm not labeled rude, but don't make contact with baby, or you will surely lose it.
So I have my head straight and I step out of the bathroom, pick up my head and walk forward, then mom (I'm assuming she's mom) is now in my path way holding said baby. Wow, this will be awkward. We stop, say hello and just as I get the courage to acknowledge the baby, I reach out towards his little chubby hands and as I'm about to grab and caress his hand, mom takes a step to the side, making his hand out of reach for me, not thinking, I try once more and almost intentionally now, she moves to another side and my hand misses his hand again. This time I take the hint and in the same breath that it takes for me to say goodbye, I'm already heading back to the main office, not looking back to give the baby one more glance.
Not sure if I am imagining her not allowing me to make physical contact with her child- she doesn't know me personally, but isn't it normal for people to acknowledge babies with a touch. I'm not sure anymore. I've spent so much time avoiding babies all together.
Maybe there is this great big flashing sign on my forehead that reads "danger: can't carry own children to term, proceed with caution!"
Vent over. Can't wait to be home, in my bubble, where nobody judges me or at least I won't feel like anyone is judging me.
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